Day 59 - Long Meditation
Last night I attempted a 30 minute meditation. It was very relaxing, but I doubt if I managed even five minutes of actual focus.
This is not a criticism of myself or some self-flagellating attempt to “do better next time”, it is an observation. It is a reminder of quantity != quality.
Just because you’ve got your weightlifting shoes on, at a gym, staring at a platform with a barbell, does not mean you’re lifting. Only when you pick up the barbell are you lifting. The lesson here is more lifting; metaphorically and practically.
One thing that this 30 minute meditation certainly did was force my hand to commit to a task. Thirty minutes is a long time to be aware, with your eyes closed. It is a long time to have pins and needles. It gives you ample time to explore pins and needles.
I did recall a period of time from the meditation and it went like this.
I have pins and needles in left foot, or is it my right? It is the left? Checking… yep, the left. What is pins and needles? How does it feel? Am I keeping my legs crossed because it’s comfortable or am I doing this out of some arcane dogma related to some esoteric idea of circuitry? Move your legs, this is not meditation, this is thinking about moving your legs. Shit or get of the pot son… I no longer have pins and needles, there is no need to move my feet.
Ten seconds later, I moved my feet totally involuntarily and didn’t really notice any “mental comms” about the action. It just happened.
I’m going to aim to get my meditations to ten minutes and hold them there for a while, specifically focussing on holding my attention. There are obvious carry overs to daily life for us, the generation of information addicted blue-light workers.
side note: After writing this I have noticed something that is not mentioned above. My creative engine seems to be on over-drive. I wonder if there is a correlation?